No More Milk

Lately the boys have taken an interest in their babyhood.  Photo albums have been pulled off the shelf to look at infant and baby pictures.  They both know they were in my tummy until they were big enough to come out.  BB periodically asks for clarification on this - "Mommy, you didn't eat me, did you?" he asks with a tinge of concern.  I explain that he was a little egg that grew into a baby, and no, I did not eat him.  He wants to know where DD was; were they in my tummy together; how did I hug and kiss him while in my belly; etc.  While we have these talks, DD chimes in "how about me, mama?"  Then I tell him his story and he is happy.

This current stage of development is interesting to me.  BB understands time, that he existed in different form, a small one, years ago and grew and grew into the big boy he is today.  He often looks at my childhood photos and recognizes Mama with a curious and embarrassed smile on his face.  He understands.

While he was sick, DD crawled into my lap and asked for milk.  Breastmilk.  It surprised me.  I realized that he was in discomfort from his illness and wanted me to cuddle him the way I did when he was a baby.  He associates nursing with love and comfort, and this made me so happy.  I explained to him there was no more milk because he isn't a baby any longer.  "Oh.  I big boy now."  He understands.

I think about this when I'm tucking them in at night.  I've got dishes, cooking, freelance work and other chores waiting for me downstairs but I can't resist one more kiss and one more hug because by tomorrow morning, they'll have grown that much more.  So I linger.