He's a Lover, He's a Fighter

These are two distinct categories of people; you're either one or the other.  BB is gentle, kind and thoughtful.  DD is boisterous, headstrong and physical.  In these ways, we categorize our children, others, and ourselves into compartments as a way to make sense of human behavior and actions.

Saturday morning, seeing that his brother did not have a bagel, DD tore pieces off his own and fed them one by one to BB.  The kid is not one to share food so this is a big deal.  When BB sneezed really hard, DD ran to grab him a tissue.  I see that underneath his booming voice and pummeling fists, he is both sensitive and empathetic to his brother's needs.

While waiting for our table Friday night, an older boy called DD a baby.  I don't think DD even knew the boy was referring to him but BB went right up and corrected him - "He is not a baby."  And that was the end of that.  In Master A's Tae Kwon Do class (our first day, uniforms and all), there's a bully.  Isn't there always a bully?  Before class he had deliberately broken one of BB's LEGO weapons.  Then during class, this bully was bothering another student.  I missed all of this but C told me that BB pointed his finger in his face and told him to stop it.  The sweetest part?  He then patted the girl's arm to comfort her.

So who's to say that one is a lover, a fighter, this or that?  C and I are very careful not to graft too many expectations or presuppositions onto the boys based on what we *believe* that they want.  A lot of damage can be done to the young personality and its future potential.  It's difficult not to categorize though, especially when your 2 year old is delivering 45 degree kicks to your shins while growling like a tiger.