Living and Learning

The boys are at the age now that they will often ask life questions - you know that set of questions that even us wise, old adults have no real answer to.  One of the topics that we revisit frequently is why we have to do things that we don't want to do.  Why can't we Minecraft, laze about, and play all day instead of doing homework?  Why can't we eat popsicles and candy instead of spinach?  I always tell them the answer to everything is balance.  The truth, of course, is I have no idea what the reason is.  You know, life is cruel sometimes.  Blame Pandora.  I don't know.

Besides Minecraft and treats, this topic also comes up with certain activities.  We've put the boys on a year-round swim schedule.  Swimming is a life skill; it's great aerobic exercise; and it's a great way to build self-confidence as well as competitiveness.  Plus, I just love to watch them swim.  And the boys are great swimmers.  But it's a difficult and taxing sport and there are times when either BB or DD will ask why they have to.  And with things that are less than essential (e.g., spinach, homework), the doubts of parenting start creeping in.  How much of this is because I myself am not a great swimmer and I want them to succeed where I have not.  I do probe myself unflinchingly on things like this, and I believe I'm being extremely honest to say that I am doing this for them; not me.

But issues like this come up almost daily as a parent.  The questions change as your children grow and face different challenges and opportunities, but the questions never stop. 

I hope you didn't read all the way up to this point and expect an answer.  I have none!  This is what we lawyers call a case-by-case assessment; no bright-line rules here.  As we live and learn, we all just try to do our best.