Crossing Into Boyhood

 

This post has, perhaps, been a long time coming but I haven't been ready to write it until now. From the day he came from me, DD has been his own person. He's not fussy but he is opinionated and has a strong will. He knows his likes and dislikes. He is about as self-actualized as a young child can be. But it hasn't been until recently that I can really see and admit to myself that my DD, my sweet baby, has entered the realm of boyhood.

Most of it is his him - his character.  Some of it has to do with the fact that he has an older brother close in age pulling, sometimes dragging, him along. Part of it is me (and C) enrolling him in school at this young age. But regardless of the cause, he is there and I am feeling conflicted about it. On the one hand, it's wonderful to see him talking in full sentences, having full conversations with his brother, engaging other children and adults, and experiencing life the unique way DD does. But for this Mama it's heartbreaking. He's most likely my last child and so I want to hold onto his babyhood forever. Sometimes when he comes out of the bathtub all fresh and vulnerable, I wrap him in his hooded towel and lay him down. He will stare back at me with his big dark eyes and long lashes, blinking silently, smiling with his eyes. He looks no different to me then he did when he was 6 months old. Then he wiggles out of his towel and runs towards our bed laughing and screaming and I know that baby is gone from me.